My Principles
The guiding principles I use to make decisions that serve me
Last updated: 15 February 2024
In early 2024 I took part in the Great Decisions Course from Art of Accomplishment.As part of the course we were guided in developing five principles that are to be used to make decisions.
This was a powerful process for me and I want to create structures that will help me live by these principles. One of those structures is public accountability, so here they are (subject to iteration).
1. Live in integrity
What it is:
- Doing what I say I will do, even when I feel resistance
- Accepting and saying things that are true for me, even if it might cause conflict and pain
- Leaning into conflict when necessary, standing up for myself
What it isn't:
- Imposing my way on others or 'do-gooding'- Believing that my way is the only way or the correct way
- Believing that my way is the only way or the correct way
- Creating conflict carelessly when there are more skilful routes available
2. Do hard things and enjoy the difficulty
What it is:
- Enjoying the challenge and difficulty of working hard and taking on projects above my skill level in service of contribution and growth
- Throwing myself fully into my life and taking all the opportunities it gives to me
- Cultivating delight in the process, the journey and placing less emphasis on the destination itself
What it isn't:
- Refusing to quit the wrong path when I realise I've gone the wrong way, made a mistake or the thing might cause harm
- Doing things just because they are hard, pursuing a path that isn't actually important to me
- Damaging myself (again) by not listening to my inner guidance
3. Aliveness is my north star
What it is:
- Embracing intensity, recognising that even 'unpleasant' emotions are an expression of aliveness
- Trusting the wisdom of my body to guide me in the right direction
- Taking risks, allowing myself to own my wants and pursue big dream; being willing to burn things down when they aren't serving me
What it isn't:
- Settling for the saccharin taste of fake aliveness from substances, addictions and short-term pleasure at the cost of the long term
- Causing others pain carelessly by becoming too self-focused
- Sacrificing other principles for the sake of aliveness - the 'how' is more important than the 'what'
4. Connection is life
What it is:
- Prioritising deep connection with people who matter to me and who bring aliveness to my life
- Never abandoning myself
- Saying the scary thing to invite deeper connection
What it isn't:
- Seeking the rush of new connections to the exclusion of existing ones that matter deeply to me
- Losing discernment about who I choose to connect with or how
- Getting lost in the high of connection to the exclusion of my other goals and principles
5. Healthy, vital bodymind: energy is the currency of life
What it is:
- Making healthy choices as an expression of self-love
- Acting in service of my future self, my family and friends
- Staying fully conscious so that I 'use myself' well
What it isn't:
- Being so overly strict and restrictive that I miss out on connection and aliveness
- Pushing myself so hard that I injure myself or create other counterproductive outcomes
- Judging myself when I inevitably fail to make perfectly healthy choices